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Tuesday Web Edibles

Tony Bourdain jumps networks, the most insufferable food trends, the discontinued ice cream graveyard and how to stir-fry vegetables on today's web roundup. 

No Reservations is no more: Anthony Bourdain will host a prime time weekend program on CNN in 2013.

Larry Olmsted lists his 8 Worst Food Trends via Forbes. Food trucks, "Gastropubs that Aren't", Kobe beef [in America], and micro-distilleries all make the cut.

A more cheerful cemetery than most: NPR profiles the Ben and Jerry's Graveyard of Shelved Ice Cream Flavors. Ice cream enthusiasts and sweet-tooth afflicted hippies alike can pay their respects to Makin' Whoopie Pie, From Russia with Buzz or Neapolitan Dynamite. 

The National Pork Board sends ThinkGeek a cease and desist letter over their use of the slogan "The other white meat" in reference to a fake product: canned unicorn meat. 

Fantastic food writer Peter Kaminsky discusses his latest book, Culinary Intelligeence: The Art of Eating Healthy (and Really Well)  with Food Republic. On recent changes to the American diet, he says, "In the past 15 years, Americans have added 300 calories per day on average to their daily intake. Another thing I read was that if you asked people today what their ideal weight is, it's 15 pounds more than 15 or 20 years ago."

The best techniques for stir-frying vegetables, from Grace Young via the Kitchn

Baby Bok Choy

Nobody puts baby bok choy in a corner. A wok will do just fine though. 

The Edible Web: Stay Puft Edition

Bourdain has fightin' words for a food writer, the existence of real Stay Puft Marshmallows and a visitor's guide to NYC dining on today's web roundup. 

Anthony Bourdain calls an as yet unidentified food journalist, "the most vicious, abusive, misogynistic, back-biting, piece of [expletive] I have ever met in my life," via Eater. Perhaps tonight's episode of No Reservations will shed some light on the situation.

In more redeeming news for food writers, the James Beard Foundation announced their Book, Broadcast and Journalism winners for 2012. 

Still riding your Cinco de Mayo momentum? Michelle Poveda provides Margarita Do's and Dont's for the Huffington Post. Our advice: avoid the sugary mix altogether and keep it simple. Or closely follow the recipe for the perfect margarita from our resident chef, Dixie Wong.

Stay Puft Marshmallows apparently exist now according to Foodiggity - hopefully not a sign of an impending 2012 apocalypse. Ghostbusters fans fear human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together, mass hysteria to come. 

Serious Eats compiles a list of the best places to eat in New York City for a first time visitor on a two-day trip. Bagels at Murray's, pizza by the slice at Joe's, a hot dog at Gray's Papaya and of course,  pastrami from Katz's are among their choices if you prefer a "classic itinerary." 

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The world's best pastrami at Katz's Delicatessen

Local Tweats Roundup

Despite the overwhelming dominance of shameless plugs, humblebrags and baffling tweetspeak that only 12-16 year-olds understand, Twitter still hosts an abundance of relevant, useful and humorous food and restaurant related content. Here's a handful of this week's best tweets. Speaking of self-promotion, feel free to follow us @LocalEaters

Sarah J. Gim (@the delicious): "New kitchen has two ovens. it's like theyre mocking my inability to bake." Sort of a first world problem, but we've all felt like our kitchen appliances are taunting us at one time or another.

Paul F. Tompkins (@PFTompkins) live tweeted the Oscars: "The mac & cheese commercial with Seymour Cassell is the best movie of the year so far." No argument here. Watch it.

Andrew Zimmern (@andrewzimmern): The host of Bizarre Foods tweeted drool-worthy photos of not-entirely-bizarre foods at one our favorite Memphis restaurants, The Bar-B-Q Shop. "BBQ bologna cheese sausage peppers saltines at BBQ Shop. http://twitpic.com/8sku70"

Kyle Kinane (@kylekinane): On yipster dining habits: "Hipsters are the new yuppies then, right? 'Hot new' music sounds like Phil Collins and everyone wants to go to vegan fusion restaurants."

Sam Sifton (@SamSifton): The NY Times editor mourns his favorite rapper with some choice food-related lyrics. "RIP Biggie: 'Come to spread the butter lyrics over hominy grits.' "  Another user's follow up is worth noting: "that was method man though, old white guy." Close enough … Biggie's name is still on the song (and he clearly was no stranger to butter).

Anthony Bourdain (@noreservations) weighs in on the Olive Garden review that went viral. "Very much enjoying watching Internet sensation Marilyn Hagerty triumph over the snarkologists (myself included)." We laughed and rolled our eyes. We reconsidered when we realized everyone reacted the same way. We now have her back. An emotionally taxing day on the interwebs. 

Lucky Peach (@LuckyPeach): "I think I just got criticized by a fortune cookie. http://t.co/C1uy8tCY" It bodes better than the dreaded empty fortune cookie.

Scotty L. (@MarylandMudflap): "I'm lookin for capitalists to invest in a new restaurant! No 'menu' yet, but every night I'm gonna fall down stairs with a full tea service." This would be the first legitimately entertaining dinner theater in the world. 

Tim Siedell (@badbanana): On the lack of advancement in breakfast innovation: "We have enough breakfast items for the toaster now, food scientists. Move on to the car heater vent." 

Twitter Bird

Local Tweats Index

The week's most profound food and restaurant thoughts expressed in 142 characters or less. As always, feel free to follow us on Twitter at LocalEats for dining news, LocalEats happenings and horrible food puns. 

Comedian/actor/comic book enthusiast Patton Oswalt (@PattonOswalt) initiated a series of amusing tweets under the "hippie threats" hashtag: "I have come here to kick ass and eat locally. And these mung beans are from outside a 50 mile radius #hippiethreats." 

Zach Zamboni (@zachzamboni), a cameraman for Anthony Bourdain's No Reservations, offers entertaining behind-the-scenes insights about the show. He had a bit of a close call with a cobra in Malaysia:"Escaped death by cobra, ran a kilometer backwards, sweated like a bastard, ate a fish head, drank beer. This is life with @NoReservations." How close? Take a look

Foodimentary (@Foodimentary) is full of fun food facts and quality food quotes. On the 200th birthday of one Charles Dickens, Foodimentary scored points with this reflection on literature and chips (fries): "Charles Dickens was 1st to mention chips in a book 'Husky chips of potatoes, fried' Tale of 2 Cities, 1859."

The only fictional Twitter persona to win a James Beard Award, Ruth Bourdain (@RuthBourdain) is an unholy mashup of Ruth Reichl and Tony Bourdain. Here's one of the tamer entries: "Fat isn't bad, stupid is bad. And yet, this braised pork belly is stupid phat."

The Twitterverse had plenty of commentary to offer on Valentine's day and restaurants. Carly Castle (@CarlyCastle): "My plans for tonight involve going to fancy restaurants & slipping fake engagement rings into a lotta girls' champagne glasses." Sixth Form Poet (@sixthformpoet): "On Valentine's Day, restaurants are like chess clubs; tables for two, agonising silence, psychological warfare and far too many stalemates."

Conan O'Brien (@ConanOBRien) spent the week describing and taking pictures of his lunch. A few highlights: "Today's lunch: Turkey patty, garlic broccolini, and roasted veggies. Not pictured: Boston cream pie with mayo." and "Today's lunch: a chicken tostada salad and homemade sangria I poured into a Vitamin Water bottle." With slightly terrifying photo.

It wouldn't be Twitter without repetition of trending topics ad nauseum. Gothamist (@Gothamist) fuels a nation's rabid Linsanity with a report that "Shake Shack has gone LINsane! They're now serving up Jeremy Lin-Mint shakes." Full story here

Twitter Bird 3

What is the airspeed velocity of an unladen Twitterbird? 

Local Tweats Weekly Roundup

An index of the week's tastiest restaurant, dining and food entertainment tweets. 

Eric Cunningham (@EricCunningham) gives chips the gravitas they deserve: "When I eat chips alone in the kitchen, I imagine my life shown on a 4-way splitscreen with whatever world leaders are doing right then."

Spike Mendelsohn (@ChefSpike): The former Top Chef contestant and chef/owner of Good Stuff Eatery and We, The Pizza wins the photo of the week award by capturing a delightfully morbid combination of death and bacon in his picture, captioned " The most glorious afterlife".

The Big Gay Ice Cream Truck (@biggayicecream): If they ever get bored running their big gay successful mobile creamery, the guys behind the Big Gay Ice Cream Truck may have a future in game development: "I want to start a new game craze. It's kinda like paintball, but you just have a satchel of cupcakes to peg people with. Wanna play?"

Ottavia Bourdain (@OttaviaBourdain): MMA enthusiast/Anthony Bourdain's better half weighs in on food, technology and failure: "I'm so out of it today I just answered the Shake Shack buzzer as if it was my phone #fail."

Village Voice (@VillageVoice): The twitterverse was abuzz with updates about Lady Gaga's parents' opening a restaurant in NYC. The Village Voice scored with back to back tweets: "Lady Gaga's parents' restaurant is getting panned by critics. 'The calamari [is] like leather.' " followed by "If Lady Gaga wears leather calamari at next year's VMAs, we'll know why." 

Conan O'Brien (@ConanOBrien): Coco's tweets are worth creating a Twitter account for alone. Highlights of late include "Being a celebrity means I can get any restaurant reservation when George Clooney cancels at the last minute." and "When I really need a good laugh, I just imagine Edward Scissorhands attempting to eat crab legs." 

Food Network Humor (@FNHumor): In keeping with the Conan theme, Food Network Humor tweets "What's More Disgusting Than Watching Guy Fieri Eat? That's right, watching Guy Fieri eating in reverse. Thanks, Conan. bit.ly/z6vbrY"

AJC (@AJC): The Atlanta Journal-Constitution cleverly re-wrote one of their own headlines: "Waffle House driveby: Targets scatter as #Lawrenceville Hwy restaurant smothered, covered with bullets." (No one was injured.)

That's all folks. If you care to follow us on Twitter or come across a food-related tweet worthy of Local Tweats, find us @LocalEaters.

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The Edible Web: Paula Deen Edition

Last week, the baroness of butter, the sultan of salt, Paula Deen came forth and announced that she has been living with type-2 diabetes for three years. She also announced a new multi-million dollar partnership with drug maker Novo Nordisk. More than a few internet feathers were ruffled when Deen started declaring that she's always preached moderation to her viewers and won't change the way she cooks. The announcement also came with a heavy dose of promotion for her new show, "Not My Mama's Meals." Here are a few voices weighing in on the matter. 

Healthy living expert and author Andrew Well calls for Paula Deen to change her diet via CNN.  

"Taking a drug to lower blood sugar without making those lifestyle changes is a classic example of trying to deal with a problem without going to the root of it. (Another is taking a pill to suppress stomach acid so that you can eat foods that cause heartburn without it.)"

Jane Black writes an insightful column on how Paula Deen has missed an opportunity

" ... think again about the power of celebrity-awareness campaigns. Magic Johnson singlehandedly changed the debate about the AIDS virus when he public with his diagnosis of HIV. ... Deen has chosen a different path. Three years after her diagnosis, she's signed on as a paid spokeswoman for diabetes drugs-her way, she says, of bringing something to the table."

Eater interviews Anthony Bourdain, a known critic of Paula Deen. He doesn't take the bait by saying anything particularly mean-spirited or controversial ... just one small dig.

"When your signature dish is hamburger in between a doughnut, and you've been cheerfully selling this stuff knowing all along that you've got Type 2 Diabetes... It's in bad taste if nothing else."

After marveling at the fact that Paula Deen withheld this information for "three long, greasy years", Frank Bruni of The New York Times  writes about the seemingly sneaky off-screen eating and exercise habits of restaurant critics and celebrity chefs.

"MANY of the acclaimed chefs whose television appearances, cookbooks or venerated restaurants whet our appetites have only an occasional, formal relationship with the luxuries they hawk. ... They have private trainers. They play tennis or soccer. They climb rocks or box or do yoga or bicycle or run."

And finally, the clip from " The Today Show" in which Paula Deen tells Al Roker "Honey, I'm your cook. not your doctor." It's reassuring to know she's taking the proper measures to keep her brand healthy. 

The Edible Web: Late-night Talk Show Edition

Conan O'Brien makes pizza while singing Irish lullabies at Joe's Pizza in NYC. He also horrifies the proprietors with a few Los Angeles pizzas: a squash blossom, hazelnut, egg and crab pizza confounds poor Joe.

From Eater: David Letterman interviews Anthony Bourdain and expresses concern for his health. They discuss his new show (The Layover), the perils of working brunch and Malaysian street food. Letterman also gets on his old man soapbox about food television shows and gluttony. 

An oldie but goodie, John Stewart rips Donald Trump for taking Sarah Palin to Famiglia's for "real New York Pizza." He then waxes poetic about superior pies at Totonno's, Lombardi'sJoe's Pizza and a handful of others. Trump is also seen stacking his slices and eating with a fork. Disgraceful. 

Finally, Jimmy Kimmel makes little children cry -- by encouraging parents to tell their kids they've eaten all their Halloween candy. Oh, the devastation. 

A Very Foodie Simpsons Episode + 5 Memorable Springfield Restaurants

This Sunday (the 13th), The Simpsons goes full on foodie in an episode entitled, " The Food Wife." And though Homer has had his share of hilarious food moments over the years, whether eating like a duck, consuming "sacrilicious" ceiling waffles, or moonlighting as a food critic, this time it's Marge's turn to share some thoughts on dining as she explores the world of food blogging. Celebrities getting Simpsonized include Gordon Ramsay, Mario Batali and Anthony Bourdain. According to this Grub Street interview with Simpsons producer Matt Selman, the episode will also feature original foodcentric rapping from Adult Swim's Tim and Eric. Just a quick sampling of that awesomeness:

I'll be "Frank" like Bruni, "Ruthless" like Reichl
"Wiley" like Dufresne, and when I take the mike, I'll 
Rhyme about radicchio, criticize Colicchio
Every pub is gastro, and all my beef carpaccio

In honor of this week's episode, I present to you five memorable Springfield restaurants from The Simpsons

The Frying Dutchman: Featured in the episode, "The New Kid on the Block," Homer is dragged kicking and screaming from this all-you-can-eat seafood buffet after eating all the shrimp and two plastic lobsters -- but failing to consume "all he could eat." The Sea Captain gets some quality face time here, as does mall attorney Lionel Hutz, who takes legal action (on Homer's behalf), claiming, "This is the most blatant case of fraudulent advertising since my suit against the film The Neverending Story."

Uncle Moe's Family Feedbag: Not content with the same old regular barflies, Moe Szyslak decides that the real money is in family restaurants. He attempts his own concept with plenty of crazy crap on the walls (an alligator with sunglasses!), deep fried everything and "awesomely outrageous" southwestern pizza fingers. 

The Gilded Truffle: The swankiest spot in Springfield, The Gilded Truffle tends to make appearances when characters are rolling in the dough, out for a romantic evening or standing up their 4th grade teacher after answering her personal ad with a picture of Gordie Howe. Moe steals the show again as he demands that the waiter give him "your finest food stuffed with your second finest."

The Happy Sumo: In "One Fish, Two Fish, Blowfish, Blue Fish," Homer insists on ordering the entire menu at The Happy Sumo, including the potentially deadly Fugu fish. The fill-in sushi chef slices (or deflates, if you will) the fish improperly, of course, and Homer is given 22 hours to live. I'd be willing to bet that most of the American public's knowledge of the fugu fish come from this episode. 

Madame Chao's: While technically not in Springfield, Madame Chao's is billed as "the sexiest Chinese restaurant in Capital City." Homer faces temptation from a co-worker and even desserts seem to conspire to ruin his attempt at fidelity. However, the only two fortune cookie messages in the restaurant read,  "You will find happiness with a new love" and "Stick with your wife."

The Edible Web: Wednesday

In an interview for Playboy, Anthony Bourdain can't resist a few jabs at some of his usual punching bags (vegetarians, vegans, Emeril Lagasse, Bobby Flay). Nothing too new, but amusing results nonetheless.

Bon Appetit sets up a photo shoot involving John Hodgman in pilgrim garb attempting to wrangle a 25-lb live turkey.'Nuff said.

KFC continues its disgusting assault on the arteries of the American public with the " Cheesy Bacon Bowl." C'mon KFC, we're trying to have a civilization, here. Further viewing: Here's Patton Oswalt's brilliant take on the KFC Famous Bowl -- a failure pile in a sadness bowl, as he dubs it.

The Senate has rejected President Obama's proposal to limit the amount of potatoes and starchy vegetables served in school cafeterias. Reassuring to know another generation of Napoleon Dynamites will not be without their tots in the lunchroom or during class. 

The Edible Web

The internet can be a such a delicious place. For your edification, here are a few links to what's cooking in the world of restaurants and food today. 

The Ken Burns 3-Part Documentary, "Prohibition," is set to air Sunday on PBS. I'd say his timing is just about right on this, given all the recent nostalgia for the 20's. Or maybe I've just had too many $13 cocktails with 3 unpronounceable ingredients served by a guy in a vest with mutton chops. Roar on, 20's!

LIFE presents an illustrated guide on how to eat sushi, complete with slightly embarrassing photos of Eva Mendes and Russell Simmons.  Spoiler alert: California rolls are not from Japan.

Hide your wife. Hide your kids.   Killer cantaloupes may not have done their worst yet, from Grub Street.

Anthony Bourdain breaks his own rules of travel on a family vacation and previews the upcoming   New Orleans episode of "No Reservations." My kingdom for an oyster po' boy. 

 

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Since 1995, "Where The Locals Eat" and LocalEats dining guides have featured locally owned restaurants across America. From the finest steakhouses and sushi bars, to classic burger joints and roadside barbecues, LocalEats recommends unique restaurants to suit every taste and price range. More
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