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Man Bites Food

Local Tweats Roundup

A tasty compilation of the best food and restaurant tweets of the week.

Twitter tends to be saturated with asinine trending topics, excessive self-promotion and tweetspeak that those over the age of 22 may have trouble deciphering. But, it's also proved to be a valuable social media platform for restaurants, celebrity chefs and those who incessantly photograph their food. Here are a handful of excellent food-related tweets from the past week. As always, you can find us on Twitter @LocalEaters.

Ruth Bourdain (@RuthBourdain):"I really hope the baconpocalypse doesn't affect other cured meats. I just don't think I could survive a Prosciutto di Parmageddon."

A chilling vision of the impending aporkalypse.

Jed (@jedfudally): "I would eat at a restaurant that calls itself 'shrimply the best' "

Shrimpin' ain't easy. 

Moiste Porque (@MoistPork): "Someday when I'm arrested, I'll be hunched over a restaurant chef, whom I've strangled with his own sandwich, screaming, 'I said NO MAYO!'"

Not sure how the physics of strangling with a sandwich would work, but can certainly understand frustration with general disregard of "no mayo" requests.  

Kat Kinsman (@kittenwithawhip): "My greatest contribution to society today has been a headline involving 'tainted nut butter.' May I have a nap now, please?"

Nap well earned. Continuing with the nap theme ...

Scotty (@marylandmudflap): "I'm a lot like Dexter only instead of killing murderers I just killed a burrito and took a 43 minute nap in my shower."

FactHive (@FactHive) There are more French restaurants in New York City than in Paris.

But how many New York-style hot dog stands line the Champs-Élysées? 

Mark Ganek (@MarkGanek): "Ordered an In-N-Out burger 'gangnam style,' so they shoved it down my throat repeatedly."

I see what you did there. 

Chase Mitchell (@ChaseMit): "There's a special section of hell for people who bring their kids to restaurants. It's a restaurant with their kids in it."

Fair enough, but what horrible things did the poor servers do to deserve their fate of cleaning the crushed Cherios on the floor? 

Comedy Tweets: (@IQuoteComedy): "When I'm at a restaurant I like to ask the waiter, 'What's your most frequently photographed entree?' "

Restaurant menus should really come with suggested Instagram filter pairings. 

Sandra Boynton (@SandyBoynton): "At lunch, the restaurant menu listed 'artisanal lettuce.' I'm so happy! I thought all the lettucewrights had retired."

That's all, folks! 

Twitter Bird

The Twitter bird only eats artisanal birdseed and locally sourced worms. 


Local Tweats Index

A tasty compilation of the best food and restaurant tweets of the week.

Twitter tends to be saturated with asinine trending topics, excessive self-promotion and unintelligible tweetspeak that those over the age of 22 may have trouble deciphering. But, it's also proved to be a valuable social media platform for restaurants, celebrity chefs and anyone who can't stop photographing their food. Here are a handful of excellent food-related tweets from the past week. As always, you can find us on Twitter @LocalEaters.

Greg Elwell (@elwelleats): "I don't know you, but there's a better than average chance that I love brie more than I like you." 

There is no love more sincere than a man's love of cheese. 

Don Draper: (@DonDraperSCDP) "No one doesn't like orange sherbet."

In the 60's, refusing orange sherbet was apparently sufficient grounds for abandoning your wife at the HoJo.

Matt Roller: (@rolldiggity): "A customer asked for crushed ice, so I took some cubes out behind the  restaurant and screamed, 'YOU'LL NEVER BE IN A FANCY DRINK!' "

I've heard of alcohol abuse, but this is ridiculous.

Andy Borowitz (@BorowitzReport): "Cable TV is now evenly divided between shows about preparing food and shows about losing weight." 

Paula Deen's cooking show and diabetes drug endorsement deal operate on the same principle. 

Jonathan Gold: (@thejGold): "Soju and level-ten blood sausage boekkum may not have been the best idea for a 1 a.m. snack."

Oof. Even the questionable late-night dining choices of a food critic are still fairly sophistimacated.

Grub Street New York (@GrubStreetNY): "The Kardashian-Fatty Crew restaurant has a name.   Unfortunately, it's not Fatty Kardashian."

Considering the restaurant will be in the Meatpacking District, Grub Street took the high road by merely making a fat joke. Way to not reach for the low hanging fruit (the apple bottom?)

Oh No She Twitnt (OhNoSheTwitnt): "If I met a mad cow I'd just whip out my Cheshire cat and he'd be like 'most everyone's mad here!' and then we'd butcher the cow & eat steaks."

Is it wrong to be slightly excited about the return (or comeback, if you will) of mad cow? I love the 90's!!

Michael Ian Black (@MichaelIanBlack): "Dear President Obama, please make them give us chips and salsa at every restaurant, not just Mexican ones."

This is some truly progressive political thinking. Would love to one day hear the words "Senator Ian Black" on C-SPAN.

Twitter Bird

You tweet, therefore I am. 

Local Tweats Roundup

A tasty collection of the best food and restaurant tweets of the last two weeks.

Twitter tends to be cluttered with asinine trending topics, endless self-promotion and unintelligible tweetspeak that those over the age of 22 may have trouble deciphering. But, it's also proved to be a valuable social media platform for restaurants, food photographers and celebrity chefs. Here are a handful of excellent food-related tweets from the past couple of weeks. As always, you can find us on Twitter @LocalEaters.

Andrew Knowlton ( @AndrewKnowlton): "Something about multi-colored tortilla chips that makes me think less of Mexican joint serving them. Justified?"

Completely. Goes doubly for places that serve radioacative neon green margaritas.

Alton Brown (@AltonBrown): "I am turning away from my media career to focus exclusively on producing artisanal bacon-bit peanut butter."

Though we've gone too far with bacon-infused everything, I'd get behind this.

Matt Yglesias ( @Mattyglesias): "Has anyone in human history ever gone to a restaurant website and been disappointed by the absence of music?"

Nope. I also doubt anyone's ever bemoaned the lack of Flash Animation on a restaurant website. 

John ( @sarcasticapple):"Restaurant bills sometimes come with complimentary mints, it would be nice if electricity bills came with a little bowl of AA batteries." 

Conan O'Brien  ( @ConanObrien): "Anyone else worried that we're in the midst of a cupcake store bubble?"

Less worried and more ready for it burst. 

Tumblr Funniest Post ( @tumblrfunniest): "My friend said 'Onions are the only food that can make you cry.' That was before I hit him in the face with a watermelon. #tumblrfunniest"

I guess someone had to pick up the slack following Gallagher's retirement. 

Ray Isle ‏ (@islewine): Ad on the subway for soup w 'artificial goat flavor.' Why do I find that so much more disturbing than artificial beef flavor?" 

Neil deGrasse Tyson ‏ (@neiltyson) "Yup. If pasta & antipasta ever touch, they annihilate. For your safety, that's why restaurants never serve them together."

World's funniest astrophysicist. How can you not love this guy? 

Kat Kinsman ( @kittenwithawhip): "Just read the phrase 'penetrates deeply into the ham' in a press release & may need a moment to heal." 

Not sure how that got by their copy editors.

Twitter2

Don't call me Tweety. 


Local Tweats Roundup

Despite the overwhelming dominance of shameless plugs, humblebrags and baffling tweetspeak that only 12-16 year-olds understand, Twitter still hosts an abundance of relevant, useful and humorous food and restaurant related content. Here's a handful of this week's best tweets. Speaking of self-promotion, feel free to follow us @LocalEaters

Sarah J. Gim (@the delicious): "New kitchen has two ovens. it's like theyre mocking my inability to bake." Sort of a first world problem, but we've all felt like our kitchen appliances are taunting us at one time or another.

Paul F. Tompkins (@PFTompkins) live tweeted the Oscars: "The mac & cheese commercial with Seymour Cassell is the best movie of the year so far." No argument here. Watch it.

Andrew Zimmern (@andrewzimmern): The host of Bizarre Foods tweeted drool-worthy photos of not-entirely-bizarre foods at one our favorite Memphis restaurants, The Bar-B-Q Shop. "BBQ bologna cheese sausage peppers saltines at BBQ Shop. http://twitpic.com/8sku70"

Kyle Kinane (@kylekinane): On yipster dining habits: "Hipsters are the new yuppies then, right? 'Hot new' music sounds like Phil Collins and everyone wants to go to vegan fusion restaurants."

Sam Sifton (@SamSifton): The NY Times editor mourns his favorite rapper with some choice food-related lyrics. "RIP Biggie: 'Come to spread the butter lyrics over hominy grits.' "  Another user's follow up is worth noting: "that was method man though, old white guy." Close enough … Biggie's name is still on the song (and he clearly was no stranger to butter).

Anthony Bourdain (@noreservations) weighs in on the Olive Garden review that went viral. "Very much enjoying watching Internet sensation Marilyn Hagerty triumph over the snarkologists (myself included)." We laughed and rolled our eyes. We reconsidered when we realized everyone reacted the same way. We now have her back. An emotionally taxing day on the interwebs. 

Lucky Peach (@LuckyPeach): "I think I just got criticized by a fortune cookie. http://t.co/C1uy8tCY" It bodes better than the dreaded empty fortune cookie.

Scotty L. (@MarylandMudflap): "I'm lookin for capitalists to invest in a new restaurant! No 'menu' yet, but every night I'm gonna fall down stairs with a full tea service." This would be the first legitimately entertaining dinner theater in the world. 

Tim Siedell (@badbanana): On the lack of advancement in breakfast innovation: "We have enough breakfast items for the toaster now, food scientists. Move on to the car heater vent." 

Twitter Bird

Local Tweats Index

The week's most profound food and restaurant thoughts expressed in 142 characters or less. As always, feel free to follow us on Twitter at LocalEats for dining news, LocalEats happenings and horrible food puns. 

Comedian/actor/comic book enthusiast Patton Oswalt (@PattonOswalt) initiated a series of amusing tweets under the "hippie threats" hashtag: "I have come here to kick ass and eat locally. And these mung beans are from outside a 50 mile radius #hippiethreats." 

Zach Zamboni (@zachzamboni), a cameraman for Anthony Bourdain's No Reservations, offers entertaining behind-the-scenes insights about the show. He had a bit of a close call with a cobra in Malaysia:"Escaped death by cobra, ran a kilometer backwards, sweated like a bastard, ate a fish head, drank beer. This is life with @NoReservations." How close? Take a look

Foodimentary (@Foodimentary) is full of fun food facts and quality food quotes. On the 200th birthday of one Charles Dickens, Foodimentary scored points with this reflection on literature and chips (fries): "Charles Dickens was 1st to mention chips in a book 'Husky chips of potatoes, fried' Tale of 2 Cities, 1859."

The only fictional Twitter persona to win a James Beard Award, Ruth Bourdain (@RuthBourdain) is an unholy mashup of Ruth Reichl and Tony Bourdain. Here's one of the tamer entries: "Fat isn't bad, stupid is bad. And yet, this braised pork belly is stupid phat."

The Twitterverse had plenty of commentary to offer on Valentine's day and restaurants. Carly Castle (@CarlyCastle): "My plans for tonight involve going to fancy restaurants & slipping fake engagement rings into a lotta girls' champagne glasses." Sixth Form Poet (@sixthformpoet): "On Valentine's Day, restaurants are like chess clubs; tables for two, agonising silence, psychological warfare and far too many stalemates."

Conan O'Brien (@ConanOBRien) spent the week describing and taking pictures of his lunch. A few highlights: "Today's lunch: Turkey patty, garlic broccolini, and roasted veggies. Not pictured: Boston cream pie with mayo." and "Today's lunch: a chicken tostada salad and homemade sangria I poured into a Vitamin Water bottle." With slightly terrifying photo.

It wouldn't be Twitter without repetition of trending topics ad nauseum. Gothamist (@Gothamist) fuels a nation's rabid Linsanity with a report that "Shake Shack has gone LINsane! They're now serving up Jeremy Lin-Mint shakes." Full story here

Twitter Bird 3

What is the airspeed velocity of an unladen Twitterbird? 

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